Growing up as an adult is hard. I have got through a lot of phases that I had never been expecting when I face it. It was kind of fun lying in your sofa, holding your favorite snacks while the television was showing your favorite TV show. But it is not anymore, you are not in it. Well, it s*cks. This is the time for me to get out of my comfort zone. I have to stare and stand by in front of my lovely computer, for working and studying instead of gaming or watching my favorite cartoons/films. I have spent the rest of my daily activities on doing academic stuffs. I rarely have fun with my friends because I meet them just three times a year. I don’t even spill the point of what corona’s effect got me, but I guess I also will get that phase even though corona doesn’t exist. I probably just go to the university and meet a lot people there, but it is different when you meet people on serious context. So, as long as I could enjoy my life, I used to push myself doing something that I was able to explore. I genuinely spent my energy so hard until I thought that I didn’t enjoy it, really. Losing my whole free time and filling it with toxic productivity really got me losing myself. I realized that I was pleasing people when I didn’t please my own self. I hope I can take back my words when I said, “I need to get my time faster because adulting is fun.” No, being an adult is tough. But that’s the moral of journey. Sometimes living is not that fun but you still can laugh. I am minding if I want to get successful, so I must be out of the comfortness. But then, I should try not to avoid my happiness. I am still struggling to find myself back and not to compare my grown up phase with anyone else. I really am.